Henry Potty and the Pet Rock by Valerie Estelle Frankel

Author:Valerie Estelle Frankel
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Humour
Publisher: Oxford eBooks

- CHAPTER 5 -

The Parrot and the Gum

The Sneezer's job, as it turned out, was to grab the goldfish first, and then hold onto it while everyone else dog-piled on top of him. Miss McGonk hadn't let him leave until after she'd called Triple V to have her vacuum insurance updated. They had left her crystal ball on hold for over an hour while Henry attempted to Sneeze his way through the cold, slippery game. To make things worse, the fish kept swatting him in the face with their tails. He'd promised them over and over to eat chicken forever and forego seafood, but it hadn't seemed to make a dent in their slippery abuse. Wet, shivering, and sore, Henry finally dripped his way back to the dormitory. He clutched his only lifeline, the book Fishing for Nincompoops.

“Password?” the fat lady asked sweetly. Henry hesitated, trying to think through all the water in his ears. “That's right, go on inside!”

“What?” asked Henry. “I didn't say anything.”

“Exactly. The password is to make a sound like a lump of leftover spinach. And you got it!” Henry shrugged and hurried inside before the portrait could change her mind.

As Henry ran to lunch, having put on dry clothes and combed a fraction of the mud, fish guts and student guts out of his hair, he heard someone screaming inside one of the classrooms. It sounded as if the voice was saying,

“No, no, please have mercy! Don't make me agree to this. I can't. I just can't!”

Henry poked his head inside. “Don't fear! I have my evil gizzard squirt gun all ready!” He glanced around. Professor Flopsie, the ex-poodle groomer, sat alone at his desk. “I don't get it. Where's Lord Revolting?”

“Don't say that name!”

Henry rolled his eyes. “Okay, okay, where's You-know-who?”

“Oh. He's not here. Why? Do you see him? Do you see him anywhere?”

“Um, no,” Henry said.

“Good. I was talking to myself. Yes, that's it, to myself. No one here, go right on about your business.”

“Oh, good, glad I could help.” Henry left, grinning. Obviously, he had frightened Revolting away from the school, just by staying out of his way. Henry had forgotten to look under the rug.

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